The Amazing Jones: "I feel the angel of death flappin' around here."

There's a lot to be said for intuition and trusting your instincts, but claiming Sylvia Browne powers is quite another thing.
Jones insists he "predicted" 9/11, the Norway massacre, and the IRS attack in Austin just by paying attention to current events (he didn't), but in the video segment below he takes a new, supernatural tack by saying he experiences "chills" before major catastrophes occur, and sometimes has precognitive dreams.
Now, his psychic powers are telling him something epic is coming up: “I only have discernment on things that are big, and that effect humanity. And let me tell ya, what I’m feeling is ten times anything I’ve ever felt.”

Given his penchant for predicting things that never freaking happened (WWIII, The Great Swine Flu Plot of '09, The Great Tea Partier Frameup of 2010, etc.), I think we can safely ignore Jones' spidey senses.

16 Crazy Notions 'til Christmas: Egyptian History and Math Lesson

There's nothing I can say about this one that isn't painfully obvious, so just watch and cringe (and don't worry, Jones was not having a stroke).

Nude vlogging about Steve Jobs is not a good idea even at the best of times

I'm no fan of Steve Jobs myself (the Apple Store gives me hives), but this is just absurd. The state of Jobs's soul should not be keeping you awake at night. Dude has cancer. Let him die or recover in peace, and stop being a ghoul about it. Also put on some clothes.

Anatomy of an Alex Jones Fan

artist's crappy rendering of "Steve"

On 4/20, my Significant Other stopped by a cannabis rally to give his pot activist buddies a bit of good news: An NDP candidate had said, on the record, that he supports legalization. The Signif Other isn't a cannabis aficionado, himself, but over the years has forged ties with pot activists who support peace/anti-war efforts and the 9/11 Truth movement.

Now as you can imagine, 4/20 rallies tend to be casual affairs. This particular one had a small stage-like setup, but no PA system and no schedule. Through the crowd, the Signif Other spotted a fellow he has encountered many times in the past few years, a medical marijuana activist who was once head of a provincial Marijuana Party. We'll call him Steve.

Steve may look and sound like a granola-lovin', tree-huggin' socialist, and in some respects he is. He claims to be a peacenik and an admirer of Gandhi. But he's also a hardcore Alex Jones fan.

Most of the Alex Jones fans I've encountered understand that Jones can get his facts a little, um, confused, and they take him with a grain of salt. They appreciate his overall message without necessarily believing that Bill Gates is trying to kill them, or that schizophrenics are demonically possessed, or that pi is 33.
Then there are those rare few who live, breath, and defecate Alex Jones. They deck themselves out in his merchandise, watch his entire show every day, and preface every other sentence with, "Alex says..."

These people are, quite frankly, insane. Not mentally ill. Just insane. Of the hardcore Jones fans I have met, not one exhibited a single symptom of emotional stability or common sense. One guy popped up out of nowhere, illegally plastered my neighborhood utility boxes and light poles with Infowars posters declaring "THERE'S POISON IN THE WATER" for several days, then vanished. He didn't round up other concerned citizens and petition the city council to stop putting fluoride in our municipal water supply. He didn't sponsor an educational seminar on the hazards of fluoridation. He just freaked everybody out and left.
Another hardcore Jones fan was TrutherBitch. She literally could not utter a sentence without inserting "Alex Jones", and her mass emails were batsh** insanity on crank. She was heavily invested in one of those Scamway-style MLMs.
Then there's Steve. When he learned I was the author of this blog, he growled at me. Actually growled. Like a dog when you get too close to something it's trying to bury.
His Twitter feed has exactly one subscription: Infowars.

Anyway, back to 4/20. The Signif Other saw Steve standing on the edge of the stage, hollering something. Steve didn't seem to be addressing the wandering, distracted crowd, though he later insisted he was making a VERY IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT (as every hardcore Alex Jones fan knows, ALL CAPS convey that you are CREDIBLE and IMPORTANT).
The Signif Other wandered over to the stage and called out something like, "Steve! Hey, Steve! I have some good news!"
Steve didn't respond, but a few seconds later he hopped off the platform, stalked directly up to the Signif Other, and threw a sheet of paper in his face. He growled something along the lines of, "Don't you ever do that to me again. I was making a VERY IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT." Then he stomped away without a word of explanation.

The Signif Other told me about this later in the day. I said, "Well, you shouldn't have interrupted someone who was on a stage. That was kinda douchey."
He said, "I didn't know he was making an announcement. I thought he was just yelling at somebody. I felt bad when I realized he was actually trying to say something." Undoubtedly, he would have apologized to Steve the next time he ran into him. It was one of those minor misunderstandings that happens all the time.

Fifteen hours later, we received an e-mailed death threat from Steve. I can't repeat 98% of it here, 'cause this is sort of a PG-13 blog, but the gist was that the Signif Other had deliberately interfered with a VERY IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT, COINTELPRO-style, and in so doing had "dishonored" Steve. One line was "Notice the abundance of scars on my knuckles. You will keep your f***ing mouth shut whenever I speak" (emphasis in original). Another was "I'll wipe your blood up with your family." Another was "Stay the f*** out of this visionary genius's way or you'll get walked on." You get the drift. It was a rambling, paranoid, two-page screed about all the ways and means and desires Steve has to inflict violence on those who disrespect him. You know, like Gandhi.

This letter was followed by a spate of other bizarre emails and messages, like, "The dishonoring stands until you honor me again."

Now I'm not saying that Steve is representative of Alex Jones fans. He sure as hell isn't representative of hippies, Canadians, or potheads. But maybe you can tell me why so many of Jones' hardcore admirers seem to be unhinged paranoiacs with massive chips on their shoulders...

"Pentagon Preparing for Martial Law!"

Jones took time of out of his busy schedule - shrieking at John Boehner's answering machine and whatnot - to be interviewed by Pravda TV Russia Today. None of what he says about the economy points toward martial law (or "marshall law", for that matter), but that doesn't mean it isn't happening.

Apocalypse Wut

or, How to Exploit Your Friends and Destroy People

"I've already been on MSNBC today, and I'm on a whole bunch of stuff coming up tonight. And obviously, we'll be able to inject infowars.com into the discussion when I'm on those broadcasts, and the people will come here and find the larger picture. It's kind of the red pill. Thanks to Charlie Sheen." - Alex Jones (Feb. 25/11 broadcast)

By now I'm sure you've all heard about (if not heard) Charlie Sheen's stream-of-unconsciousness rant on The Alex Jones Show, AKA "the rant that got Charlie Sheen fired". Sheen was supposed to be talking about 9/11, his 20 questions for Obama, etc. Instead, he talked for over half an hour about... Charlie Sheen. He dissed his enemies and critics, praised the "narly narlingtons" and "goddesses" who have stood by him, and bragged about his superstardom and talent. He read some of his baseball poetry, talked about watching Jaws on a yacht in the fourth dimension, and waxed ineloquent about Apocalypse Now. I can't even count the number of times he used the words "winning", "on fire", and "bring it".

When the rant began, I thought Sheen was on speed or coke. Then Jones went to great lengths to stress that Sheen is now totally clean. So then I thought maybe he just had a few too many energy drinks and was really hyper. As the "interview" went on, however, I finally realized that Sheen could be having a nervous breakdown or even a break with reality - and that Jones was basically exploiting a man who probably needs some help, rather than the fawning attention and acclaim Jones was throwing at him.

Inside jokes about being a "Vatican assassin warlock" aside, Sheen lavishly insulted his boss (Two and a Half Men writer/producer Chuck Lorre) and insisted on calling him Chaim Levine. That's not full-on anti-Semitism, but let's face it: It sounds like Sheen and Mel Gibson would get along just fine.
Sheen also referred repeatedly to violence against his enemies, joking (?) about decapitating Lorre in front of his children, "violently murdering" unnamed critics, and attacking people with "fire from above". Jones nervously nudged him to specify that he was talking about taking down his enemies "in the infowar", but Sheen stopped cooperating with him.

As for Sheen being clean, he says he cured himself of all addiction problems with his own mind. He had nothing but scorn for Alcoholics Anonymous, which he described as a cult made up of sissies, trolls, and losers. He said, "They have a 5% success rate. I have a 100% success rate."

"You sound like Thomas Jefferson," Jones told him.
"I'm not Thomas Jefferson," Sheen said, "Thomas Jefferson was a pussy."

So, now Charlie Sheen is out of a job (along with a lot of other people) and everyone thinks he's unhinged rather than just uninhibited. Great job, Mr. Jones.

I don't know what's wrong with Charlie Sheen and I don't know enough about the politics of network television to take a position on Chuck Lorre's "vanity cards", but I do know it's uncool to use your friend's nervous breakdown to promote your website, no matter how invaluable you think its content is.
Check out Jones' appearance on The View; Whoopi's reaction to him is classic.

Dick Gregory Again

I say "again" because Dick Gregory is to conspiranoia what Seth Rogan is to mediocre comedies: You just can't rid of the guy. He rocks as a comedian and an activist, but as a semi-professional paranoid he sucks. Every time you hear a weird or stupid conspiracy theory, you can bet that Dick Gregory has already made it weirder or stupider.

- At the height of the Atlanta child killings, which were likely the work of a sexual predator, Gregory declared that research scientists were probably killing young black boys for their foreskins, to use in some arcane cancer treatment that was being kept secret. This was after he declared that the KKK was responsible.
- Bizarrely, he insisted that Michael Jackson did not do inappropriate things with young boys even after Michael Jackson appeared in a British documentary and talked openly about doing inappropriate things with young boys. On the radio show Make It Plain, he speculated that the FBI and other shadowy figures framed Jackson to get their hands on the Beatles catalogue. In 2005 Gregory told NPR that MJ probably had a same-sex attraction for children because he was injected with female hormones as a boy - a rumour that went around in the '80s - then came out with (surprise!) another really odd conspiracy theory: "You look at women that use birth control pills; some of them have a strong attraction for another woman because birth control pills have female hormones in it. Most of them don't know this, and that's what this whole game is." (I don't know of any research that would back this up, but by all means fill me in if I've missed something epic.)
- Big shock: Dick Gregory proclaimed that Michael Jackson was murdered and that he had not been abusing drugs, telling a Nancy Grace interviewer and others that Jackson feared for his life in 2005. He implies that whoever was supposedly trying to get MJ back then patiently waited 4 years to murder him.
- When the Zapruder film was first shown to the American public on TV and declared to be proof of a second gunman (which it is not), Dick Gregory was there.
- In the '70s, he teamed up with the deeply shady lawyer Mark Lane to prove that the FBI killed MLK Jr. (While William Pepper's An Act of State makes a fairly convincing case for this, the proof is still not in 40 years later.)
- When AIDS hit, Dick Gregory was one of the first to declare that the government probably invented it to kill black people. (Today it's cool to say that, but when Dick Gregory said it, it was still slightly insane.)
- Right after Katrina, he wondered about the levees being secretly dynamited (a rumour that has popped up after each and every flood in the history of New Orleans, always without much evidence).
- At some point he hopped on the raw food and milk-is-a-deadly-poison bandwagons, and began going on dangerously long liquid fasts for both health and political reasons. An unsourced interview clip shows him telling people that animals won't drink tapwater because they know it's full of poison gas, and that "all diseases come from lack of drinking water".
- He decided that NASA faked the moon landings (and apparently all the space junk, too).
- In the NPR interview, he fretted that the CIA or the FBI might use his credit card to purchase plane tickets for terrorists.
- In a particularly bizarre rant posted on YouTube, Gregory says violence by black children should be blamed on whatever the white people are putting into malt liquor. "And it's your fault, too! Malt liquor is made by white companies but only sold in black neighborhoods, and you ain't checked it to see what's in it!" He's also very upset about manganese, which he claims is responsible for the elevated crime rate in a small Australian town located near a manganese mine. "Manganese will make you kill your mama... How much manganese are you sprayin' in my neighborhood at night while I'm asleep?!" At the end of the rant he makes a kind of menacing comment that white folks should be grateful for Hillary and Obama, "'cause if y'all had a brother like me, y'all would really be in trouble!"
- One of his strangest food-related theories (*explained* here) is that genetically engineered tomatoes containing fish cells would cause not only the tomato, but the human body, to retain water. "Waterlogged" tomato eaters will go to the doctor, be given bad medical advice, and end up dead. (Perhaps we'll never know, because that particular tomato died on the vine, so to speak.)
- And now, of course, Dick Gregory is a Truther. And he's going on some kind of liquid diet until the Truth comes out. He's giving Them until 2012.

Lest you go thinking that Gregory says these things because he's a patriot who just wants to make his country a better place, let me point out that he has described the U.S. as a "racist, evil, nasty country" and in a speech called it "the most dishonest, ungodly, unspiritual nation that ever existed in the history of the planet". Doesn't sound to me like he holds out much hope for it.

All Crazy Gunmen are Left-wing

For over 20 years, James Von Brunn made it clear to the world that he loathed non-whites and non-Christians. But when Von Brunn walked into the D.C. Holocaust Museum last year and opened fire on the security guards, Alex Jones declared that the shooting was probably engineered jointly by the government (as part of a "Valkyrie takeover drill", whatever that is) and the Anti-Defamation League. Von Brunn was possibly threatened into participating.

Timothy McVeigh made it crystal clear that he planned the Oklahoma City Bombing partly in retalation for the Waco massacre. But in Jonestown, he's just an FBI patsy whose handlers probably told him he was fighting white supremacists, and he confessed multiple times only because he was drugged by the CIA.

When Joseph Stack plowed an airplane into an Austin office tower in February, he left behind a vitriolic letter blaming the IRS for all his troubles. But Stack, too, was just a government patsy - part of the Great Tea Partier Frameup of 2010 that never actually happened.

When children shoot up their schools, it's not because they're mentally ill or because they're psychotic little assholes, even if the videos and writings they leave behind point clearly in one of those directions. It's because of psych meds they might not even be taking.

Lee Harvey Oswald was a CIA/military plant who didn't shoot at anyone. He was forced to pose as a leftist.

But when James Lee entered Discovery Channel headquarters and threatened to shoot employees for not doing enough to save the planet, leaving behind a radical environmentalist screed, Alex Jones accepted the media's explanation at face value.

So you see, when a right-wing extremist shoots people, he's only doing it on behalf of the government (or because he has been drugged and/or threatened by the government). His stated motives are not the real motives, and his intended goal is not his intended goal. But if a left-wing extremist shoots people, he really is doing exactly what he says he's doing.

"The Pentagon probably wrote that up."

This. Is the funniest. Shit. I have ever seen.
With all earnestness, in his most serious listen-to-me-I'm-a-serious-radio-personality voice, Alex Jones dissects the New World Order subversive mass-programming messages concealed within...

Squidbillies.



This really does speak for itself, but a few comments are in order:

1. For a guy who doesn't watch much TV, Jones seems to watch a lot of TV.
2. As I've mentioned, GMO corn has not been shown to sterilize animals in any major study, much less "every major study". I'm not saying the stuff is necessarily good; I'm just saying let's get the facts straight before we start scaring millions of people.
3. Fluoride shrinks testicles? Are we sure about this? And how is "Barak Hussein Obama wants to put fluoride in your water to sterilize your testicles" any different from what Jones is saying? For that matter, why does Jones feel entitled to call everyone morons, but woe betide any cartoon that makes fun of anthropomorphic squids?
4. "If more than used for brushing is swallowed" is not a typo, dude.
5. If everyone is trying to covertly kill you, they're not going to tell you how they're doing it.
6. I'm pretty sure that redneck cepholopods and a "Rockefeller-type" character (Dan Halen) on a cable cartoon show are not actually role models to any sane person. If you start drinking fluoridated tapwater strictly because they do it on Squidbillies, then I suppose you'll also dress up as a giant banana the next time you go hunting, too.
7. Stereotypes in cartoons are not exactly one of the most pressing issues on the planet. I'd also like to point out that Squidbillies creator/writer Dave Willis is a native Georgian with no known ties to the Pentagon or any other government body.

Oh, and DO NOT TOUCH THE TRIM!

Huh?

Moneybombed

You may recall Alex Jones' moneybomb days last year. Throughout the first one, he interrupted callers with weird off-topic comments, cracked gay jokes, and ranted about his spiritual twin Glenn Beck (calling him, among other things, an "effeminate gremlin", "maggot-infested rotten cheese", and an "AntiChrist little bastard").

Yet his moneybomb goal was reached, since his fans actually want to see their cash converted into mediocre YouTube documentaries. He also claimed several people were threatening to sue him, so he needed the money, in part, for a legal defense fund. Or maybe for a legal attack fund that he forgot to mention.

Some of the money raised undoubtedly went toward film-making costs, but where is the rest going? Well, $15,000 it is destined to become cash prizes for "the best naked protest" against body scanning. That's just fine. I'm sure that in this brutal economic crunch time, Americans are happy to sacrifice their hard-earned nickels and dimes so that twentysomethings can be rewarded for running around nekkid in front of their friends' videophones. This will surely put a big dent in the New World Order's plot to see us all nude, then kill 80-99% of us.


Everybody Owns Hollywood

On his January 7th broadcast, Jones declared that he has "woken up" numerous A-list actors, and that most celebrities know Hollywood is fully controlled by the State Department and the CIA.

Wait, what? I thought "Hollywood is owned by the Arabs"? I'm so confused. Not only does Jones contradict himself, another *highly credible* source says CGI is a Zionist tool used for sorcery and brainwashing! "Ancient Egyptian rabbis" (whatever the hell they are) passed "kabbalistic witchcraft" on to the Knights Templar, and it ended up in the Harry Potter movies! Well, if you believe anything you see on Iranian TV, I mean.

The Dark Ages

Once in a great while, Alex Jones says something so offensive, so absurd, so wrong that I actually feel unclean after hearing it. My stomach lurches and I think, "Gawd, that's so evil I don't even want to blog about it." The most recent examples are his assertion that the Anti-Defamation League was probably behind the Holocaust Museum shooting*, and that people who suffer schizophrenia aren't mentally ill, they're demons.**

But even those two statements, appalling and untrue as they are, don't quite match up to what Jones said on last Thursday's broadcast. He was talking again about human sacrifice, and this time - to his credit - he actually mentioned Caucasian forms of the practice (Druidic, Nordic, etc). Then he added, "The Jews were constantly turning back to human sacrifice."

Excuse me? Are we in the Middle Ages? First he attributes mental illness to the supernatural, then he dusts off one of the worst anti-semitic slurs of history; that the Jews have practiced ritual sacrifice.

I would like to give Jones the benefit of the doubt, and assume that he's simply confusing Jews with the Molech-worshipping Ammonites and Canaanites of the Bible, who allegedly sacrificed children to their god. He may think that when the Jews turned to worshiping a golden calf during the Exodus, they must have embraced human sacrifice as well. However, that doesn't alter the fact that human sacrifice was repeatedly proscribed in the Old Testament. It has always been reviled by Jews and Christians.

Of course, that didn't stop Christians from accusing Jews of ritually slaughtering Christian children at Passover. Desperate to separate themselves from the religious tradition of which they were only a minor sect, and eager to consolidate their power over the peoples of Europe, Medieval Christians routinely leveled charges of murder and cannibalism at the continent's Jewish population. Most commonly, Jewish men would be accused of abducting Christian, pre-adolescent boys and killing them in hidden chambers beneath synagogues, draining their blood to be baked into their matza. Catholics venerated the relics of these so-called child martyrs. The first, and most famous, was William of Norwich, a 12-year-old tanner's apprentice murdered in 1144. The crime was never solved, but blame fell on the Jews of Norwich. Anti-semitism was already rife throughout England, and the tensions in Norwich came to a bloody end in 1190 - the entire Jewish population of the town was slaughtered.

The blood libel continued long past the Middle Ages. In 1911, a young Ukrainian boy named Andrei Yushchinsky was killed and a Jewish man, Menachem Mendel Beiliss, was charged with murdering him. The lead detective in the case was fired for refusing to hew to the ritual murder theory of the crime. Investigating on his own, he learned that a criminal gang with which Andrei was associated was probably responsible. They had feared the boy would rat on them.
One of the state's expert witnesses was Professor Ivan Sikorsky, a psychologist at Kiev State University (and father to the man who developed the first helicopter). Sikorsky gave his opinion that Andrei's death was, indeed, a ritual murder committed by a gang of Jews.
Beiliss was acquitted in 1913.

In 1928, a four-year-old girl named Barbara Griffiths wandered away from her home in the village of Massena, New York. Because Yom Kippur was two days away, some locals immediately leapt to the conclusion that the village's small Jewish community had abducted her for a ritual sacrifice. The police began questioning Jews, including the rabbi, in the belief that this was entirely possible.
One day later, little Barbara was found in the woods - alive and well. She had simply gotten lost.

In 1986, Syria's completely insane defense minister, Mustafa Tlass, published a book entitled The Matzoh of Zion. You can guess what it was about.

I would love to say that Christians and Muslims finally smartened up and stopped spreading this horseshit, but the sad fact is the blood libel persists to this day in certain quarters. The Yushchinsky murder is still cited by anti-semites and religious supremacists, who claim it was covered up and that the prosecuting attorney in the case, G.G. Zamyslovsky, was put to death for writing a book about it. Recently, someone erected a sign on Andrei's gravestone: "Ritually murdered by Jews in 1911". Other instances:

• In 1955, a retarded bitch Chicago woman named Lyrl Clark Van Hyning (publisher of Eustace Mullins) attributed the brutal murders of three young boys to a Jewish ritual. Brothers John and Anton Schuessler Jr., along with their friend Bobby Peterson, had disappeared en route to a movie matinee. They were found a short time later, strangled and beaten to death. Frau Van Hyning believed that details in a Chicago Sun Times article were indicative of Judaic human sacrifice: an unidentified grain was found on the bodies (flour for the blood matzo, founding John Bircher Revilo P. Oliver contended), and "Kabalistic symbols" were carved into the boys' flesh (though an entry in the ragingly anti-semitic Ziopedia referred to the patterns, correctly, as being caused by the floor mat of a car, "probably a Hewitt or some other luxury brand such as a rich Jew might possess". Actually, it was a Packard.) The ritual murder theorists insisted that Anton Schuessler, Sr., was also murdered by the city's Jewish community, specifically a psychiatrist. Mr. Schuessler did die during electroshock treatment administered for his crippling depression, but the stories of his widow being paid off by Jews are unfounded. Nearly 40 years later, the Schuessler-Peterson murders were found to be the work of Kenneth Hansen, a pedophile who belonged to the local "Horse Mafia", the same group of cons and crooks responsible for the disappearance of candy heiress Helen Brach. Though the leader, Silas Jayne, bore a slight resemblance to Norman Mailer, not one of these men was Jewish. Sadly, though, when you Google "1955 Chicago murders", most of the top hits involve "Jewish ritual murder".
• If you search for "ritual abuse" on YouTube, one of the first vids you'll find is a clip from an 1989 Oprah show about Satanic ritual abuse. A heavyset, thirtyish woman called "Rachel" (real name Vicki Polin) explains that her outwardly Jewish family has practiced Satanism since the seventeenth century. Like all SRA victims of the '80s, Vicki was sexually assaulted and forced to participate in human sacrifice from a tender age. Some of the women in her family, being overweight, were able to successfully hide pregnancies - enabling them to be "breeders" for the cult. Their infants were born in secret, then ritually sacrificed. Vicki was impregnated by her own father five times, and forced to have abortions. But like most SRA victims of the '80s, Vicki had no idea that everyone in her family worshipped Satan. She really thought they were nice, middle-class Jews living in the Midwest. Then, as an adult, she recovered her repressed memories. Unlike the average '80s SRA victim, Vicki is still telling her story. She moved to Baltimore, became a therapist, and established The Awareness Center Inc. A bio of her that appeared on Henry Makow's website last year provides additional information: Vicki's family was part of the Illuminati, which evolved from the Frankist movement of the 18th century. (I guess Makow missed the part about Vicki's family practicing Satanism in the 17th century, but that's understandable. I'm pretty sure a guy who calls his website "Save the Males" doesn't watch Oprah often.) All of this is in complete contradiction to what Vicki's therapist, Tina Grossman, said on Oprah in '89. Grossman related Jewish/Satanic ritual abuse to pre-Judaic Paganism that incorporated human sacrifice. In 2004, Vicki told a rabbi that many rabbis imported "Sabbatean Satanism" to the U.S. from Europe, and her family's rabbi was a member of the cult. She was sexually abused on top of Torah scrolls laid on the floor of the synagogue.
• In 2005, 500 Russian clerics, Duma members, and intellectuals supposedly signed a petition calling for the government to outlaw all Jewish organizations. The signatories believe that all Jewish groups are "hate groups", and in support of this contention the petition cited an 1884 work incorrectly attributed to Dr. Vladimir Ivanovich Dal: “Criminal investigation into the murder by Jews of Christian infants and the use of their blood". The same year, Russian anti-semites fingered Jews in the still-unsolved murders of five young boys and demanded that the authorities begin searching bakeries that produce matzo.
  
• Every year, Catholics in the village of Rinn, Austria, still trot out the preserved remains of a 3-year-old boy named Andreas Oxner. He apparently died in 1462, but it was not until 1642 that his death was openly blamed on Jews.
  

Among all these absurd and implausible allegations, you will fail to find one very important thing: Evidence. There is simply no evidence. There is no reason to believe that Jews practiced human sacrifice at any time in the history of Judaism. Whether you're talking about Hebrews in ancient Egypt or baby-killers in Chicago, it just didn't happen.


*If you hate the Anti-Defamation League as much as Jones does, you should consider blaming anti-semites for its existence. It was created in response to the 1915 lynching of Leo Frank, president of the Atlanta chapter of B'nai Brith. He had been falsely convicted of murdering Mary Phagan, a young girl who worked in his uncle's pencil factory. When locals learned that his death sentence had been overturned, a mob stormed the jail and lynched Frank.
**If schizophrenics are demons, then demons spend a great deal of their time embroidering tea towels and taking in stray cats and watching game shows, because my grandmother is schizophrenic.

Chuck Norris: more questions than answers

I never thought I would even care enough to ask this question, but...

Has Chuck Norris lost his damn mind?

On Jones' show yesterday, he actually said Obama is trying to pull a Chavez move on America, that he's working on "annulling" the 2012 elections so he can install himself as lifetime dictator. Gingrich said something similar a while ago (video here), complaining that Obama has signed too many Executive Orders (33). In his first year of office, G.W. Bush signed 54 Executive Orders. Didn't hear a peep from Gingrich about that.
What evidence is there for this move toward dictatorship? What steps has Obama taken to install himself as dictator? Jones complains that Obama wants to "socialize" or "nationalize" absolutely everything, but thus far nothing has been socialized nor federalized. The banks have not been nationalized. The proposed health care plan leaves health care firmly in the hands of private insurance companies.
It looks like the Federal Reserve is going to be audited. Surely a dictator wouldn't allow that to happen, right?

Norris also gave the opinion that if the U.S. ratifies the Copenhagen agreement, Congress should impeach Obama for even attempting to enforce it. It's just a scam designed by guys like George Soros to "bankrupt our economy here in the United States and then come in with international money and take away the dollar”. Seems like a pretty drastic plan just to replace the dollar, dude. And just exactly how does Soros benefit from "bankrupting the economy"?

“If the people don’t rise up, we’re going to have a revolution in our country."

Lovely. Chuck Norris leading the masses in an uprising that will preserve or restore....what, exactly? I mean, what golden age of American history are we harking back to here? Jones hasn't liked any American president since Jackson, only because Jackson hated bankers. Jones talks a lot about the spirit of 1776, but he also seems to think the founding fathers were just like the baddies of today - Freemasonic New World Order occultists with secret agendas.

What kind of country does Chuck Norris want? What kind of country does Alex Jones want?

A message to all liberal college students:

Alex Jones is not happy with you.

White Rastafarians can be a little annoying, I'll admit, but Alex Jones really, really hates them.

"You can go to any university and see the people with their Rasta fake hair, the wannabe white Rastafarians and their sandals and their patchouli, going, 'It's what we gotta do for the earth', and I just wanna knock their Nazi teeth in. Don't you understand the Nazis have fake Rasta hair, with limp wrists...they're walking around in coffeeshops actin' real cool, and I just wanna knock their teeth out...I WANNA CRUSH YOUR SKULL! Because I'm just a normal mammal...I'm a normal...[pause for thought] creature that when I see innocence being torn apart, my instinct as a warrior is to stand up and fight."

Jones seems to believe that all liberals endorse eugenics and enforced population reduction. During his February interview of Stanley Monteith, he declared that if you take a liberal - any liberal - aside and mention Madame Blavatsky or Margaret Sanger, the liberal will snarl, "That's right, you sonofabitch, and we're gonna get you too. We've gotta exterminate the blacks and the Mexicans."

He's right, of course. When the moon is full, liberals gather in Rothschild castles and dance naked around cauldrons full of gay porn and back issues of Mother Jones, bellowing "Gooble-gobble! Gooble-gobble!" until Al Gore calls for silence. Then they pray to a plaster bust of Margaret Sanger and pledge to exterminate all minorities by putting minute quantities of harsh chemicals into the same drinking water that they consume.

So I guess we could go ahead and add "campus hippies" to the list of New World Order baddies, along with bankers, "rockabilly art types", schizophrenics (AKA "demons"), herpetologists, law enforcement officers, and pretty much anyone with a college education. But my advice to Jones is to just be patient with the college kids.

"It only takes 20 years for a liberal to become a conservative, without changing a single idea." - Robert Anton Wilson

Nightmare Fuel

There's really nothing I can say to make this any less frightening or any more coherent. It's like somebody crossed a Juggalo with a John Bircher.

Jones Suing a Fan?

I really don't like to discuss Alex Jones' off-air behaviour, but if it's true this is kind of infuriating, and it is directly related to his broadcasts: Jones is reportedly suing a former Prison Planet forum moderator, Chris Arnold, for posting Jones' videos on his own website. If you're a regular listener, you know that Jones virtually orders his listeners to freely copy and distribute his documentaries to get the word out there. The catch here is that the website in question had some advertising (to pay for the site, presumably), and Jones and/or his lawyer feels he should be getting a cut.

To my knowledge, Jones has never specified that you shouldn't post his videos on sites that advertise. While I can understand being irked by someone else making money off your work, the revenue from these ads probably wasn't even enough to pay for the site itself (considering Jones' documentaries are available on YouTube, Google Video, and many other prominent web-sharing sites).

During his money bomb drive, Jones mentioned that part of the proceeds could go into a legal defense fund because some people were talking about suing him. That may be true, and donors were obviously okay with that. But I don't know if they wanted their money to go towards suing other fans, instead of "fighting the New World Order".

Al Gore and the Suitcase of Blood

It's an indie movie just waiting to happen.

According to Jones' frequent guest Alan Watt (not to be confused with the late Alan Watts, who was actually quite intelligent), all prime ministers, high-level bureaucrats, and VIPs carry at least two pints of their own blood with them wherever they go. He surmises this is because THEY know how contaminated we serfs have already become by all the toxins THEY are using to poison us into extinction.

Jones added that USA Today reported that Al Gore travels with an entire fridgeful of blood.

I couldn't find any credible source for the Fridge of Blood story, but a Suitcase of Blood story is quite popular among the fringier conspiranoids on the Internets. Some say Gore is a vampire, others think he's a Reptilian, and one YouTuber wonders if he's addicted to adrenochrome.

Whatever he is, the story seems to have originated with Fritz Springmeier, a fundie mind-control deprogrammer and professional conspiranoid who used to give Prophecy Club lectures on the "13 bloodlines of the Illuminati". A huge amount of the weird misinfo featured in David Icke's books (like the nonexistent "Mothers of Darkness" castle near the village of Muno, Belgium) comes from Springmeier's lectures and his mammoth books The 13 Bloodlines of the Illuminati and The Illuminati Formula Used to Create an Undetectable Mind-Controlled Slave. (That's right - you can actually create your very own invisible zombies. Go ahead and add that to your Amazon wish list. I'm sure it will come in handy.)
Springmeier is currently serving prison time for plotting a 1997 armed bank robbery in Portland, Oregon. Needless to say, he and his supporters insist he was framed by the Illuminati.

According to comments on the Prison Planet and Infowars forums, Springmeier mentioned in one of his lectures that Al Gore was apprehended at an airport with a suspicious-looking suitcase. It turned out to be full of numerous "packets" full of Gore's own blood. The media allegedly covered for Mr. Gore's vampirism/blood addiction by telling the American public he's a hemophiliac.

A strange conspiracy-art vid on YouTube, titled Al Gore Addicted to Blood??!!!, features audio of conspiracy researcher Steven Soros telling the Suitcase of Blood/hemophiliac story, and hinting that Gore is hooked on adrenochrome.

The trail ends there.

Whichever version of the story you choose - fridge or suitcase - it doesn't make much sense. Gore is not a hemophiliac, and apparently has never been misidentified as one by the mainstream media. Blood supplies are not hauled around in briefcases. Hemophiliacs don't use their own blood for transfusions. And if we are thoroughly contaminated by environmental pollutants, then THEY are too; it's not as though Gore and company can take space-vacations to detox themselves while the rest of us are stuck on Earth, stewing in all the air-, water-, and food-borne chemicals. Although that would also make a decent indie movie.