The Amazing Jones: "I feel the angel of death flappin' around here."

There's a lot to be said for intuition and trusting your instincts, but claiming Sylvia Browne powers is quite another thing.
Jones insists he "predicted" 9/11, the Norway massacre, and the IRS attack in Austin just by paying attention to current events (he didn't), but in the video segment below he takes a new, supernatural tack by saying he experiences "chills" before major catastrophes occur, and sometimes has precognitive dreams.
Now, his psychic powers are telling him something epic is coming up: “I only have discernment on things that are big, and that effect humanity. And let me tell ya, what I’m feeling is ten times anything I’ve ever felt.”

Given his penchant for predicting things that never freaking happened (WWIII, The Great Swine Flu Plot of '09, The Great Tea Partier Frameup of 2010, etc.), I think we can safely ignore Jones' spidey senses.

Fritz Springmeier, "political prisoner"?

On Halloween, Alex Jones conducted a Skype interview with Fritz Springmeier, who was released from prison in March. You can watch the full interview on Infowars, but here's the first part:



I have written about Fritz Springmeier many times in passing. He has appeared at least once on this blog ("Al Gore and the Suitcase of Blood"), several times on Swallowing the Camel, and quite a few times on blogs dealing with "Satanic panic".

It would be exhausting and rather pointless to detail his entire career here, but if you're unfamiliar with Springmeier, here are some details you may want to know:

• Born in 1955, he used the name Victor Earl Schoof until legally changing it to Fritz Springmeier in 1987.
  
• He says he attended West Point, but did not.
  
• He professes to be a very religious man, and once ran a sort of Christian lay ministry (he is not an ordained minister, and does not have any theological training).
• In 1997 he allegedly circulated a strange "affidavit", accusing several other Christian ministers, including Alex Jones's mentor Texe Marrs, or trying to sabotage this ministry. "Several people have told me my ex-wife is controlled by demons and given her life to Satan," he wrote of his second wife, Gail.
  
• To his mind, every religious tradition outside of the Judeo-Christian is basically Satanism. This includes ancient Egyptian beliefs, Theosophy, and any form of occultism. Oh, and Jehovah's Witnesses. And the Catholic Church. In a 1996 Prophecy Club lecture, Springmeier said every human on Earth is tracked from birth to death by Jesuit priests.
  
• His conspiracy writing and lectures have been a huge influence on David Icke. Much of Springmeier's misinfo has made it into Icke's books. For example, the Belgian castle called Chateau Amerois is referred to by both Springmeier and Icke as the "Mothers of Darkness" castle, in which the elite hold ghastly Satanic rituals and slaughter children.
• In the early '90s, he became deeply interested in the subject of government mind control programs, and trained himself to be a deprogrammer of women who allegedly survived "Project Monarch", a supposed offshoot of MK-ULTRA*. He ended up leaving his second wife and young son for one of these women, Cisco Wheeler. Together they authored books and gave lectures on Illuminati mind control techniques. Their best-known work is the massive book The Illuminati Formula Used to Create an Undetectable Mind Controlled Slave.
• Cisco Wheeler, like all alleged Monarch victims, was deliberately programmed to have multiple personalities (Dissociative Identity Disorder). One of her alter personalities was a cat.
  
• Springmeier's take on history is, um, creative. In the Prophecy Club lecture cited above, he declared that Hitler was descended from the Rothschilds. You'll see more of his unique interpretations of history later in this post.
  
• He really, and I mean really, hates The Wizard of Oz. He's convinced it's a Satanic parable used in the mind control programming and ritual torture of young children. He thinks the same of every film, book, and TV show that appears to reference Oz in any way (for instance, the movie K-Pax).
  
• In his book Bloodlines of the Illuminati, Springmeier attempted to identify the 13 families that have controlled the world for centuries. His M.O. was to tick off lists of prominent people with the same last name, without bothering to ascertain if they were actually related to one another, then link them to the Illuminati by the most tenuous connections. For example, reporter Robert Collins was implicated simply because he had the surname Collins and because the Illuminati "control the press" (Springmeier provided no evidence that the Illuminati does, in fact, control the press). Likewise, he tied serial killer Ted Bundy to the Bundy/McBundy families, and explained that his sadistic sociopathic condition is quite typical of Illuminati members, even though Bundy's name came from a working class stepfather.
• In the '80s, he vociferously defended "former Illuminati member" John Todd long after Todd's stories were shown to be fraudulent. The late Mr. Todd was a "Christian" con artist posing as a former Satanist. He was also a convicted rapist. Though he had a long history of complaints against him for propositioning teenage girls, and faced related criminal charges several times, Springmeier insisted that Todd's rape conviction was a frame-up by (who else?) the Illuminati. At one point, he even claimed that Todd had been abducted from prison and murdered by Illuminati agents in 1994. This was not true. Todd was released from prison in 2004, was remanded into custody as a dangerous sex offender, and died a natural death three years later. Now, Springmeier uses the same cry of frame-up in reference to his own criminal activities.
• In their book Deeper Insights Into the Illuminati Formula, Springmeier and Wheeler state that the Illuminati has been creating "synthetic humans" (made partly from cows) since the 1970s.
  
• In 2001, he and his third wife, Patricia, were arrested for having a marijuana grow op in conjunction with a white supremacist, Forrest E. Bateman, Sr. Bateman was convicted in 1989 of racially intimidating a high school student in Forest Grove, Oregon, and three years later he appeared on the state police's Ten Most Wanted list for firearm offenses and assault connected to skinhead activities. And now we get to the heart of the matter...
  
  
  
  

Kooky as he was, and annoying as his continuous stream of nonsense could be, I had no reason to suspect that Springmeier was in any way a violent man. So I was shocked in 2002, when Springmeier was indicted on charges of planting a bomb in an adult video store and robbing a bank in Damascus, Oregon, years earlier.

Here's what happened: On the afternoon of October 8, 1997, a propane bomb exploded in the Fantasy Adult Video Store in Damascus. No one was injured.

Roughly ten minutes later and six miles away, a man in camo fatigues, later identified as Forrest Bateman, Sr., walked into the Damascus branch of Key Bank of Oregon and demanded cash from a teller, firing his assault rifle at the ceiling to intimidate bank employees and patrons into complying with his demands. He exited the bank with a mere $6000.

The bombing and robbery went unsolved until 2001, when police discovered the pot operation Springmeier, his wife, and some friends were running.
Springmeier and Bateman were arrested after deputies of the Clackamas County Sheriff’s Office seized fifty marijuana plants, bomb-making materials and illegal weapons**, and Army of God literature from Bateman’s home in Sandy, Oregon, in February. Anthony Huntington (Bateman's housemate), Patricia Springmeier, and a woman named Jennifer Williams were also arrested. Bateman already had outstanding warrants against him for of assault and illegal possession of an assault rifle.
The FBI was brought into the case because of the weapons and Army of God literature, which indicated possible terrorist activities.

Anthony Huntington turned out to be the weakest link in the robbery chain. Faced with serious prison time for weapons and drug charges, he confessed his own role in planning the 1997 bombing and bank robbery, and gave up the names of his co-conspirators, including Springmeier and Bateman (most reports hint there was at least one other man involved, but no other co-conspirators are named). The drug and weapons charges were dropped and replaced with charges related to the bombing and robbery.

Batemen pled guilty and was sentenced to 9 years in prison. Springmeier pled not guilty, was convicted, and received the same sentence as Bateman. Huntington, for his testimony against Bateman and Springmeier, received a reduced sentence for his role in the bombing and robbery. He was released in 2005.
It should be noted that the longest prison term was served not by Springmeier, but by Bateman. Bateman was released from prison in September, a full seven months after Springmeier.

In my opinion, these three guys got off easy: Five and nine years are ridiculously short sentences for two violent crimes that could easily have resulted in fatalities.

Now here's where the "political prisoner" part comes into play. Springmeier claims total innocence in this affair. His story is that he knew Huntington only from Bible study. He knew nothing about the bombing, he knew nothing about the robbery, and the whole thing was a frame-up. He has even said he has an alibi: He was working at a print shop in Eagle Creek, a town ten miles from Damascus, exactly when the robbery occurred. But his boss refused to confirm this, he says, because Springmeier had once offended him by criticizing Billy Graham.

According to Fritz, he was framed for a variety of reasons: He helped people leave the Illuminati, he published his mind control research, he exposed an "entire community" of Illuminati members in Bend, Oregon (forcing them to sell their homes and move elsewhere).
He insists there was no evidence against him (both he and Jones betray a total lack of understanding of just what circumstantial evidence is, and how powerful it can be when used properly). He claims the three witnesses who testified against him at trial were bribed, though he presents no evidence of this. Not even circumstantial evidence.

Hard information about the case is scanty. Most of the original news articles have been taken down, and Internet searches just bring up the same small amount of info provided by Springmeier's supporters (you'll find dozens of re-posts of Henry Makow's essay "How Fritz Springmeier Was Framed", which will not tell you how Fritz Springmeier was framed; it's simply more of Makow's usual "the Illuminati did everything and that's the end of it" b.s.).

It is not known to me precisely why Springmeier was growing pot, nor why he decided to take part in a bank robbery. The authorities seem to think he and his buddies were "fundraising" for even more sinister activities, such as bombing abortion clinics or federal buildings. It's entirely possible, however, that Springmeier just wanted some cash.

In spite of his association with the racist Bateman, I have found no evidence that Springmeier is directly involved with organized racist or racial separatist groups. His wife maintains that he is not a racist.
He does have some peculiar ideas about Nazis and Jews, though. In Deeper Insights Into the Illuminati Formula, he and Wheeler contend that the Nazi concentration camps were established not because the Nazis wanted to confine and exterminate citizens they deemed non-Aryan, but simply to perform mind control experiments on children. The racial supremacy thing was just a "cover". And he espouses conspiracy theories that Jewish people essentially control the world. In Bloodlines of the Illuminati, he and Wheeler wrote, "Since the core of the conspiracy of power is Jewish, the attitude of those allied with it hinges on their attitude toward the Jewish people." They also stated that Oliver Cromwell was "financed by Jews, and helped the Jews gain power in England."
It has been widely reported that Springmeier penned literature for the Christian Patriot Organization, an allegedly white supremacist group that operated an illegal warehouse bank in Oregon. I have found no evidence of this.

Is it possible that Springmeier was framed? Sure. Not likely, but certainly possible. Given the dearth of reliable, readily available info on the case, it's difficult to discern exactly what happened here. To reach an opinion on the case, you have to rely heavily on hearsay and on Fritz's word.

I choose not to believe Springmeier because he is not credible. He already had a criminal record (for parental abduction), and was engaged in drug-related activity, before the bank robbery charges were filed. He hung around with a skinhead bank robber, which is creepy any way you look at it. He believes - or wants us to believe - that fake Illuminati cowpeople walk among us, and that Auschwitz was more a science lab than a death camp. There's just no reason to take his his word for anything. Springmeier is one odd, shady dude.

Alex Jones has a history of supporting incarcerated people who were definitely not persecuted, yet insist they were. Remember Ed and Elaine Brown, the elderly New Hampshire couple who decided that paying income tax is for fools, and were duly convicted (after an armed stand-off) of not paying their taxes? They cried foul from prison, and Alex Jones put them on the air to share their story with the world. What he did not share with the world were the couple's various allegations that Freemasons, Zionists, Illuminati members, and Jesuits had framed them. That would have seemed silly to most of his listeners, because it's fairly obvious that Freemasons and priests don't give a flying crap about a couple of goofy senior citizens in rural New England who don't feel like paying their taxes.

The same goes for Springmeier, of course. The Powers That Be aren't particularly interested in persecuting small-town Oregonians who publish underground books full of weird mind control instructions, quirky religious beliefs, and warnings about synthetic cowpeople. If they did, Alex Jones wouldn't have many guests left.

I know I'll be getting a shitstorm of emails about this, along the lines of "You don't know if Fritz is innocent or not!". Yeah, well, Jones doesn't know either. In the opening of the video, he makes it clear that he based his opinion of Springmeier's sincerity on vibes: "I didn't get any bad vibes from him, and I know that that's always the real signal." Somehow, I don't think that would stand up in court.
Also, Jones has been selling Bloodlines of the Illuminati, and it would certainly not be to his benefit to admit that he's been hawking the wares of a convicted bomber and bank robber, would it?


* H.P. Albarelli, Jr., spent nearly two decades researching the CIA and its mind control programs. He uncovered startling new evidence, but he found no evidence of Monarch, nor any comparable program. However, he did locate a man who admitted "the Monarch Project" was something he invented.
** According to one report: a machine gun, a grenade launcher, an assault rifle, a sawed-off shotgun, 3000 rounds of ammunition, ammonium nitrate, homemade C4 explosives, six homemade grenades, dynamite blasting caps, primers, fuses, black powder, and 200 timing devices, as well as a bizarre "suit of armor" made out of ceramic bearing an Army of God patch

Infowhat?

There's silliness to spare on Infowars right now. There are a few articles on important issues, like "Dollar Plunges After UN Call to Ditch Greenback", and a piece that questions neo-natal screening for schizophrenia. There's mention of possible HIV infection at a VA hospital in Missouri. There's stuff that is also saturating the mainstream media right now (job loss, allegations of police misconduct and brutality at the G20, Goldman Sachs links to the oil spill, etc.). But then there are these messes:

• "Scientists admit chemtrails are creating artificial clouds". As I've said before, Jones' idea of "admit" and mine are slightly different. In the Daily Mail article cited by Paul Joseph Watson, scientists are "admitting" only that jets leave contrails, and that the skies over areas with heavy flight traffic can be so full of contrails/moisture/clouds that the amount of sunlight reaching the ground is decreased. This is not a newsworthy story. It is a side effect of jet pollution, and maybe we should worry about that before we even get started on "chemtrails". First off, how much of today's hugely increased jet travel is actually necessary? Much of it is for business trips that don't accomplish anything that couldn't be done with Skype or even just an old school teleconference.
• The "art" of looking for occult symbolism in pop music videos, which has been taken to tragicomic lengths by the likes of Lenon Honor and "Vigilant Citizen", has caught the attention of the Guardian - a paper that just loves to walk the wobbly line between the Washington Post and Weekly World News. Dorian Lynskey's article "Lady Gaga and the New World Order" describes Vigilant Citizen's theories about Lady Gaga's links to the Illuminati, Satanism, and mind control. But Lynskey clearly doesn't put much stock in them. He even notes similarities between Vigilant Citizen's work and the anti-rock rantings of uberconservatives like David Noebel, which is not a flattering comparison. And at the end of the article, Lynskey concludes that such analysis is a textbook example of "the paranoid style". He writes, "To the Vigilant Citizen, a pop star appearing 'vacuous, incoherent and absent-minded' must be 'a tribute to mind control' rather than them actually being vacuous, incoherent and absent-minded." I have no idea why Jones & Co. think this article supports any of their contentions about the New World Order. It's just a fluff piece about a slick-but-weird American website and American right-wing paranoia in general. The Guardian is laughing at you, Mr. Jones. For the record, I don't believe Lady Gaga is actually vacuous, though her music might be. IMO, any chick who tattoos Rilke on her flesh has more than the usual shit going on upstairs. And let's face it, she's a hell of a lot more interesting than Madonna with her macrobiotic gruel and her abducted children. It's Paul Joseph Watson's commentary that's vacuous. His analysis of pop music trends boils down to "pop music sucks" and "robots are scary". He trashes Katy Perry for failing to become the next Amy Grant, but gives Eminen a green light for "pushing back" against the "Babylon system". Hey, never mind those tributes to rape and murder, or the blatant pharmaceutical product placement, or the same promiscuity that you revile in female popstars, or the overt occult references in his early work. Never mind that in his song "My Darling", Eminem says he "sold his soul" just like Katy Perry. I mean, he rapped a little about 9/11 Truth, so it's all cool, right? If inconsistency was a terminal disease, Watson would be in ICU right now.
  
• "Israel Suspected in Bogus Claim Iran Developing Nuclear Trigger", by Kurt Nimmo, has one hell of a misleading title (one that was echoed in the latest issue of Nexus magazine, BTW). Now I don't doubt for a second that the nuclear threat posed by Iran is trumped-up or even just fabricated, but exactly who suspects Israel of creating the claim that appeared in the Times of London last December? Reading Nimmo's title, you'd think some government officials or investigative reporters suspect Israel. But no. The only person who has named Israel as a suspect is long-retired CIA agent Philip Giraldi, and his "evidence" is thin indeed. The intelligence officials who are actually looking into the 2009 report haven't reached any such conclusions. So the question becomes, is Giraldi a reliable source? The Nexus article mentions that in 2005 Giraldi identfied Michael Ledeen as an author of the infamous "yellowcake document" that led to the Plame Affair. This turns out to be an empty claim, as no one has conclusively proven its authorship. Besides, the first such allegations against Ledeen were made by journalists in 2004. Something quite similiar happened with the "Habbush letter"; Giraldi declared that Dick Cheney was behind the forgery, but only after journalist Ron Suskind did the actual work. Are we seeing a pattern here? A journalist digs up some juicy intel info, and Giraldi pokes his head out of retirement to say, "Oh, yeah, I already knew about that, and here's what my former colleagues from two decades ago have to say about it." Then he gives the alt media a few scraps of info that don't really contribute any knowledge to the events in question.
  

Natural Born Psychos

Spring is here, and come hell or high water this blog will be online daily!

To start things off, here's an exchange between Jones and Alan Watt from yesterday's show that tells you a lot about where Jones' head is at. He may rant against the "conquer and divide" strategies of the New World Order, but his world is neatly divided into the scumsucking elite and the good, virtuous everyman. They are sadistic, debauched. and power-mad; we are clean-living and kind. They are rapers of children and defilers of purity; we are upholders of justice and defenders of innocence. It doesn't get more simplistic than this.
Jones has just stated that 1% of the population consists of "psychos" (sociopaths), and that this 1% always takes control of the other 99%.

Jones: We've got to identify them, educate the virtuous and good and the mighty to rise up and be the leaders they are, to defeat this scum. Do you agree with me, Alan? It's about 1% are psychos?
Watt: I'd say it's a bit more than that. The elite have been breeding for a couple thousand years at least (probably three), with "winners", those who dominated... And they continue interbreeding with more what they call "successful" people, ruthless people, and so you have generations of them. And they're psychopathic."
Jones: A lot of them don't even have to think about duplicitous things, it just flows through them.

It's bizarre to me that a person who claims to despise eugenic thought and practices could attribute sociopathology to heredity, when there is no evidence of any hereditary component to antisocial personality disorder. But then, we already know that Jones hates the mentally ill.

They return to the subject of formal education. Watts implies that all college-level educators, or perhaps even all educators, are sociopaths. Ironically, neither Jones nor Watt stop to acknowledge the fact that anti-intellectualism can be a hallmark of totalitarian thought.

Jones: That came out in a UN document three months ago, that all the major universities went to UN meetings - hookers, meals, everything - for the world government, to get them all involved. They know carbon dioxide isn't bad. They know it's about bringing in a Communist collective world state. They did psychological tests of these people, and they hate their fellow man. I see someone happy and I'm happy for them... I appreciate wholesomeness. To them, they see you healthy, happy, successful, they hate it!
Watts: Oh, they hate it, alright. And academia really is a form of totalitarianism... They don't care who they're brainwashing, or what they're taught to brainwash the youngsters with. They will go along with it quite happily because they're psychopaths, and they're very well-paid as well.
Jones: What percentage would you say are genetic psychopaths versus the psychopathoid, biological android version [created] through the conditioning in the media? What percentage are natural psychos, versus quasi-horde-of-hell, servant wraith[s]?
Watt: I'd say probably at the ruling elite's level, you're probably looking at maybe only about 20,000 very important families...

It's interesting that Jones would say the UN paid for hookers. This is another expression of Jones' notion that the "elite" are more sexually deviant than the average person, an ancient meme in populist thought (in mass-produced broadsheets, the relatively chaste Marie Antoinette was painted as a lesbian orgiast).
The UN meeting Jones mentioned didn't actually take place. As noted in the Infowars article, UN documents discussed recruiting academia for assistance in UN climate change initiatives.
It's also very interesting that Jones and Watt zeroed in on higher education, when public school education in Texas has some very serious problems that should be addressed ASAP.

If it isn't clear to you by now that Jones deems the "elite" to be less than human, in response to a caller's comment about the Reptilian overlords, he declared, "They might as well be Reptilians from Planet Pop Tart, because they're so anti-human and so different from us. What they are is a bunch of psychos."

Al Gore and the Suitcase of Blood

It's an indie movie just waiting to happen.

According to Jones' frequent guest Alan Watt (not to be confused with the late Alan Watts, who was actually quite intelligent), all prime ministers, high-level bureaucrats, and VIPs carry at least two pints of their own blood with them wherever they go. He surmises this is because THEY know how contaminated we serfs have already become by all the toxins THEY are using to poison us into extinction.

Jones added that USA Today reported that Al Gore travels with an entire fridgeful of blood.

I couldn't find any credible source for the Fridge of Blood story, but a Suitcase of Blood story is quite popular among the fringier conspiranoids on the Internets. Some say Gore is a vampire, others think he's a Reptilian, and one YouTuber wonders if he's addicted to adrenochrome.

Whatever he is, the story seems to have originated with Fritz Springmeier, a fundie mind-control deprogrammer and professional conspiranoid who used to give Prophecy Club lectures on the "13 bloodlines of the Illuminati". A huge amount of the weird misinfo featured in David Icke's books (like the nonexistent "Mothers of Darkness" castle near the village of Muno, Belgium) comes from Springmeier's lectures and his mammoth books The 13 Bloodlines of the Illuminati and The Illuminati Formula Used to Create an Undetectable Mind-Controlled Slave. (That's right - you can actually create your very own invisible zombies. Go ahead and add that to your Amazon wish list. I'm sure it will come in handy.)
Springmeier is currently serving prison time for plotting a 1997 armed bank robbery in Portland, Oregon. Needless to say, he and his supporters insist he was framed by the Illuminati.

According to comments on the Prison Planet and Infowars forums, Springmeier mentioned in one of his lectures that Al Gore was apprehended at an airport with a suspicious-looking suitcase. It turned out to be full of numerous "packets" full of Gore's own blood. The media allegedly covered for Mr. Gore's vampirism/blood addiction by telling the American public he's a hemophiliac.

A strange conspiracy-art vid on YouTube, titled Al Gore Addicted to Blood??!!!, features audio of conspiracy researcher Steven Soros telling the Suitcase of Blood/hemophiliac story, and hinting that Gore is hooked on adrenochrome.

The trail ends there.

Whichever version of the story you choose - fridge or suitcase - it doesn't make much sense. Gore is not a hemophiliac, and apparently has never been misidentified as one by the mainstream media. Blood supplies are not hauled around in briefcases. Hemophiliacs don't use their own blood for transfusions. And if we are thoroughly contaminated by environmental pollutants, then THEY are too; it's not as though Gore and company can take space-vacations to detox themselves while the rest of us are stuck on Earth, stewing in all the air-, water-, and food-borne chemicals. Although that would also make a decent indie movie.

Of Molehills and Mermaids: The Very Screwed-up World of Mark Dice

Okay, I can understand why Alex Jones thinks Glenn Beck is working for Them: Beck decided that there might not be a FEMA gulag, after all. But why does fundamentalist Christian "culture jammer"/conspiracist/Truther Mark Dice oppose Dan Brown's Angels and Demons? I mean, the book deals with all the same retarded crap topics Dice talks about:

- Illuminati Satanists rule the world.
- Occult symbolism is everywhere, hidden in plain sight.
- Catholics suck. (this is a belief held by the Illuminati Satanists, but Dice concurs)
- Science is really, really scary and only crazy bastards who worship the Devil use it.

These are the reasons Dice gave on Jason Bermas' show The Infowarrior, on his website, and in his new book Illuminati: Facts and Fiction:

- Angels and Demons could be a "purposeful whitewash of the real Illuminati",
- It could "muddy the waters for real researchers of the Illuminati".
- Because it's a work of fiction, it could lead people to believe the Illuminati isn't real, or at least confuse them as to what's factual and what isn't. For instance, the Illuminati really did take over Freemasonry.
- Brown has "links to the Illuminati". Namely, he attended Exeter. Dice says the Illuminati has heavily funded this school and used it as a neo-Platonic training ground for their ungodly spawn.
- Brown's former publisher, Random House, belongs to a media group that published Nazi propaganda.

I have to admit, Dice's concerns about a Dan Brown novel and a Tom Hanks movie actually make more sense than most of his other concerns:

- Dice led a boycott of Starbucks not because of its mediocre, overpriced coffee, nor its obnoxiously self-conscious green-ness, nor because there are nearly as many Starbucks in the U.S. as there are universities, but because that mermaid chick appears to be topless and spreading her legs (even though she probably doesn't have any, being a mermaid and all). He wants boycotters to refer to the chain as Slutbucks. Which is a decent name for a peeler bar, but I digress.
Interestingly, earlier this year Egyptian Cleric Safwat Hegazy also called for a boycott, claiming that the Starbucks mermaid is really the Jewish queen Esther (a hoax has some people believing that Starbucks donates vast sums of money to Israel, and Hegazy once issued a fatwa commanding Muslims to kill any Jews they encountered).
So which will it be, guys? Marine harlot or Biblical figure? You can't both be right, unless you want to argue that Esther was a fish.

- Jessica Simpson should be ashamed of herself for washing a car in a bikini, Fox News anchors should be ashamed of themselves for wearing short skirts, and Barbie should be ashamed of herself for wearing fishnets. Only mermaids would do something so depraved.

- The sports teams at Duke must stop using the name Blue Devils. I assume devil's food cake is also an abomination, perpetrated by that Illuminati whore known as Little Debbie.



Other Sources:
- The Resistance Manifesto (Mark Dice's website)
- "The link between Israeli troops and a double decaf non-fat moccachino" by Michael Coren. The National Post online. January 16/09.