Wednesday, December 1, 2010

24 Crazy Notions 'til Christmas

"THEY have life extension...."
(today's broadcast)

Once in a while, Jones tosses off a vague reference to his belief that the elite scumlords have access to miraculous medical procedures and cures the rest of us can never hope to even glimpse. Folks like Al Gore even travel with their own blood supplies, because they know plebe-donated blood is too contaminated for their patrician veins. Magic Johnson was given the secret cure for AIDS, which is really amazing because Magic Johnson never actually had AIDS. That must mean They're hiding a preventive cure for AIDS!

Those bastards.

But the elites aren't the only ones keeping a lid on these medical secrets. Jones informs us that black and Hispanic leaders are paid off to stay quiet about the fact that AIDS is a race-specific disease.

I have to wonder, if the world's most powerful people have access to life-extension technology, why don't they have magical weight-loss techniques yet? From what I understand, they still have to rely on plain ol' lipo and dieting, just like the peons.


Anonymous said...

Gee, is this the TSA refuge? I heard about a blog just for us TSA pervs. We hate Alex Jones, our nemesis. The enemy of our enemy is our friend.

S.M. Elliott said...

Considering there isn't a single post about the TSA anywhere on this blog, I'd say no.

Anonymous said...

With you're help we are going to continue to molest we are going to continue to squeeeezzee! haha. Keep attacking Jones, he is our biggest enemy and you are our biggest friend.

Anonymous said...

the logic is simple. y'see, if you question anything that alex jones says, it means you are FOR whatever he is AGAINST, because he is either completely, perfectly right, or absolutely wrong. therefore, if you try to say that anything he says is hyperbolic, nonsensical, paranoid, purely speculative, or has no basis in reality, then you are FOR overbearing security measures at airports.

S.M. Elliott said...

Nope, sorry. No one is absolutely wrong or absolutely right 100% of the time. Wish it was so, but it's not. Reality's complex, bro.

Anonymous said...

That anon above you sme was actually supporting you and you missed it.

S.M. Elliott said...

I would love to think so, Anon #2, but a few Jones fans actually talk like that.

the_last_name_left said...

"miraculous medical procedures and cures the rest of us can never hope to even glimpse"

Well, not unless you buy the magic potions he sells at PrionPlanet.....that stuffs the bizz!

Thanks to Alex and Burk Filters I now have drinking water that's free of harmful Ambulisadatopes - and my whole family is fitter, healthier and more active. We're readier than ever to fight the InfoPhwoar!

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